I have always loved beginnings - they stir feelings of hope and determination and possibilities for greatness. Like I'm *really* excited about starting this site - and I chose today for the first post because it's the 3-year anniversary of another beginning for me.
March 21, 2011 was my Day 1. (Of course, it wasn't my first Day 1, not by a long shot. Like pretty much every chronically overweight-to-obese person, I started over many times - I'd find a way to lose some weight, and then eventually I'd always fall off the wagon and gain it all back - and then some.) And there I was, on March 21, 2011, after a dangerously unhealthy number of "and-then-some"s, promising myself that this was going to be the time that I was really going to lose the weight - all of it - and lose it for good. That morning, I took these photos:
Even though I never planned to share them, I still couldn't bear to allow my face in the frame. It was so hard to look at myself like that.
I weighed 333 pounds.
*shudder*
That's a really whole lot of pounds. That's a Biggest-Loser/Extreme-Makeover:Weightloss-Edition lot of pounds.
I was certainly diabetic, but I wasn't treating it, because I was too ashamed to go to the doctor and have a physical. I couldn't face an actual, official diagnosis. But I had started to feel tingling in my toes, and I knew what that meant. And it terrified me.
Because my Dad is a Type 2 diabetic. And right at about the time I started feeling tingling in my toes, he started losing his. Diabetes is a motherfucker, you see, and once it gets bad, it gets *really* bad. My Dad had burned his feet on the hot sand at the beach, and one of them just wouldn't heal. It got infected, and it got worse, and then they started cutting off his toes. Eventually, he lost his leg to the knee, and then they amputated most of the other foot, too. And in the middle of this, his kidneys failed, and he started on dialysis, and to this day, he's still waiting for a kidney transplant.
He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes when he was 40 years old. And on March 21, 2011, I was less than a year away from my 40th birthday, I was 333 pounds, and my toes were tingling. I remember thinking that I was running out of time.
Three Years Later - Today: March 21, 2014: The 3-Year Anniversary of Day 1. This morning, I took these pictures:
Here, I'll save you the scrolling:
Over 155 pounds separates the 2 sets of photos, but truthfully, that's the smallest piece that's changed between Day 1 and now. On Day 1, I saw my body as a prison that I would never be able to escape, and I saw myself as weak and gluttonous and undisciplined and lazy. On Day 1, I was overflowing with shame, and regret, and unhappiness, and my weight was a reflection of that.
Today, on the 3-Year Anniversary of Day 1, I'm now the happiest person I know. Healthy and fit, yes, but more than that - I'm *free*. I thought I was on a journey to weight loss through nutrition and exercise, but what I actually found was a roadmap for living a life of power, peace and joy. Turns out I'm not weak - I'm a real-life Superhero. And my body is no prison - it's a motherfucking Rocketship. :)
I did it all through healthy eating and exercise. No weight-loss surgery, no appetite-suppressants, or fat-burners, or any other pill or potion. I lost the first 100 pounds in less than 7 months, and I did it exercising on my own, without joining a gym. By the time I'd been at it a year, I had lost 146 pounds. And in the 2 years since then, I've learned to turn a yo-yo-dieting cycle into a maintainable healthy lifestyle.
Now I'm on a mission to help others transform, too. I know that I've collected valuable insights and experiences along the way - about nutrition, and cooking, and calories vs. macros; about bodyweight exercises, and cardio, and lifting heavy weights; and most importantly, about recovery from food addiction, and finding lasting motivation, and finally allowing self-forgiveness. This site is for sharing those things that I've learned - the "how-I-did-it"; not just recipes and workouts, but also about how I made all of the physical-emotional-mental changes, and how I made them stick.
It's an exciting new beginning.
:)
Amy
Happy Superhero, Fit Rocketship
